Tea-Time Musings

"बुरा जो देखन मैं चला, बुरा न मिलिया कोय,

जो दिल खोजा आपना, मुझसे बुरा न कोय।"

Over a cup of delicious ginger tea and Parle-G biscuits, my mother was telling me about a distant cousin of hers who had refused to take care of his mother in law at her old age.Apparently, she had given all her property to her son and nothing to her daughter-i.e. his wife.My mother and I were quick to judge this said person's materialistic nature and how he doesn't have the wisdom to understand that there's no point in holding grudges or even stocking up money,for we all will die empty handed. It was at this point that my father threw the above Kabir's doha(couplet) at our faces.He then went on to explain the entire doha which was the poet's imaginative way of expressing that "Before we find fault in others ,we should look into ourselves,everybody has their flaws and we should always look for the good in others".

My father even said that amidst trying out new things to grow in our vegetable garden or new desserts to cook and the unnecessary everyday fights ,the mother-daughter duo has also started to indulge in excessive gossip sessions during the pandemic. While I was graceful enough to accept the increased fighting allegation of my father and promised myself to work on that(to him I said that it was more of mother's fault) I categorically refused that I had started gossiping more. In fact,I considered myself to be someone who steered away from gossip as and when possible.I thought it to be a rather mean activity.Also my friend had this theory that we should be discussing ideas and not people.However,with the pouring weather and hot chai, some harmless gossip(Isn't gossip harmless sometimes?) was irresistible. Moreover,it was fascinating to hear stories about these old relatives of mine whom I hardly knew.Sometimes mother also used to drift towards their youthful days and the story would get even more colorful.(At one point I used to tell myself that I would store this and use it when I write a book.I would bring these characters to take the story forward).

But this is not about my resolve to not gossip,or my dream to write best selling books.This is about that poetry my father said.As I questioned him more about it,he mentioned a book written by G.D.Birla where there's an excerpt which describes how the author goes to a morning walk and talks to everything he sees on his way.He asks the wind"What do you do?" The wind says"I provide air to breathe,I support life."And the author wonders to himself-"I don't do that".He sees a dog and asks it"What do you do?".The dog says "I watch my owner's home when he's asleep."He asks a tree"What do you do?"The tree replies"I provide shade to tired travellers."The author goes on to ask questions and everyone had some good thing that they would do.On his way back home,the author reaches a conclusion-Humans are probably the only species who are least beneficial to others.The moral of the story was,my father said,if you look deeper there's good in everybody.You should just learn to appreciate that.

I wanted to read that story/book.I couldn't find it because my father didn't remember the name of the book where he read the excerpt.All he could recall was it was written by G.D.Birla. G.D.Birla was a businessman.One of the most successful one of his times.I was amazed that for a businessman his thoughts were more of a socialist.(Don't we all have this prejudice against businessmen that they are all about money?Also, what exactly is wrong in wanting to make more money ?But let's keep that discussion for another day.)Then, I found out that he was a socialist as well, close to both Mahatma Gandhi and Nehru.A letter written by G.D.Birla to his son B.K.Birla is an interesting read.It talks about the importance of helping the underprivileged and giving back to the society.

I was only processing this thought of achieving the higher moral ground of seeing only the good in others and being of use to others when I came across this tweet from Sonu Sood-(who has now become the personification of the saying that "Not all Superheroes wear capes").The tweet said:

"अगर आप किसी की मदद करने में सक्षम है

और आपने किसी की मदद नहीं की .. तो समझें आपने जीवन में कुछ नहीं किया।"

(If you are capable of helping somebody and you have not helped anybody...then you have done nothing worthwhile in life).On reading this,I saw myself questioning that- Will I ever be able to achieve that standing in life, where I can not only empathize with people's suffering but also do something to reduce it.And I had to remind myself that as of now,that is a very distant goal. What I should be focusing now is to be independent-both financially and emotionally.Everything else can wait.On that note,I think I should get back to work,but hey, thanks for reading and liking this post.You are too kind!

#chai#parleg#musings