An actor, a photograph and unconditional love

Its been more than a week since Hindi film actor Irrfan Khan passed away.The news of his death, like most people,came as a shock to me.I stumbled upon a quite a few articles on him after his death.It appeared pretty strange to me as to why I was so affected because I couldn't recall watching more than a couple of his films.And yet I got this feeling that 'he was a good man;he shouldn't have died like this'.I try to link this feeling to me being more empathetic towards other people & their sufferings.But that's hardly true.

It was just about four days ago that 16 workers, trying to cover a journey of 157 kms on foot towards their homes, after walking for an entire night slept on the railway tracks and were run over by a goods train.The newspapers carried a photograph of the belongings of the workers scattered on the railway track, where the accident happened. Among other things, the picture contained rotis that they had stocked for their journey home.That photograph should have haunted me every time I swallowed my food. The plight of the people who had to sleep at the railway tracks should have haunted me more as I slept peacefully on my bed.And yet I was largely apathetic towards it.I was quick enough to forget that incident.Quicker than getting over the death of an acclaimed actor.I feel ashamed to realise that I have developed so much apathy towards deaths happening around me. People-their being,their lives- have been reduced to numbers.And yet everyday, I check the news to see if there has been an outbreak in my area; after which I go about my day.How selfish and materialistic have I become?

But then, aren't humans materialistic in general?Aren't we all selfish?People usually talk about unconditional love or being selfless in their deeds.Until recently, I didn't believe in unconditional love.Human beings,I felt, are too selfish to not expect anything in return of an investment.Even if that investment is in an emotion called love.If you observe, you would see that you expect something out of every relationship.You want support & companionship from friends, you expect love(in return),care & respect from your partner,you love your children because they are yours'.If you hear somebody say "I love him because he's intelligent,smart and he loves me so much!",think about it again.Which level of narcissism is this?If you love somebody because they love you ,aren't you eventually loving yourself ?Even when you help out a needy person,you get this sense of entitlement that You- are a good man.

But it is during these difficult times that the selfless face of humanity showed itself to me.I read about police officers,healthcare workers,garbage collectors,municipality workers,activists ,volunteers and thousands of men & women working tirelessly,selflessly,day in & day out with renewed enthusiasm - to contain the pandemic,to help people, to feed them and just to serve others in every which way they can.And now I do believe in unconditional love, in unconditional kindness. Now I truly understand why Robert Browning said -"Take away love and our earth is a tomb".